Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Because We're Nerds

One snowy December--some time back--I had given Heather a copy of Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy for Christmas. Why did she want that? Because she's a nerd. Actually she was tired of hearing references and allusions to great works of Russian literature and not knowing what they were. Screw her for trying to better herself. The last time I read something that was 750 pages...come to think of it, I've never read anything that was 750 pages. Does a two year subscription to Mad Magazine count as literature? Anyway, though Heather is a more avid reader than I am, a dense 750 page translation from Russian is still a pretty daunting task.
Somewhere along the line, I pointed out that 750 is also the number of milliliters in a standard bottle of liquor. Why do I know that? Because I'm a nerd. I mused that if one were to drink one milliliter of liquor for every page read, one would conceivably finish the bottle at the same time as the book. Heather thought it was a fantastic idea and we immediately set to work on a game plan. The liquor would have to be vodka, the obvious choice for Russian literature. Thank god she wasn't reading Dickens, she really hates gin.
Bottle in hand, we mapped out a strategy. Because drinking one milliliter after every page is wholly unsatisfying, we decided that fifty milliliters after every fifty pages is a nice round number and will fill a shot glass to the brim. And so Heather set out on her Russian adventure. She braved her way through fifty pages of character introductions and expository passages and was ready for her reward. In keeping with the theme of the exercise, I made her a White Russian. It is constructed as follows:
-1.5 oz. vodka (roughly 45 ml but we stretched it to 50)
-1 oz. creme de cacao
-.75 oz. heavy creme
Shake with ice in a cocktail shaker and strain into a chilled cocktail glass. Garnish with chocolate if desired.
In an effort to make this blog a multimedia forum, I thought that rather than just giving you the recipe, I would show you in an entertaining video in which a handsome man constructs a White Russian. Also Heather hasn't had a chance to play with the video camera since the ice cream video in August. Enjoy!


RecoveringActor said...

you two are too cute.

Sasha said...

You guys are so cute : )
Hopefully one day I'll have a significant other to share Russian literature and cocktails with.

Colin Kurcz said...

"I like to use the chocolate because then I get to snack on it afterwords"

good thinking man

wmydmyb1985 said...

Why hasn't Food Network contacted you yet?

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